The Stanly News and Press (Albemarle, NC)

Opinion & Letters to the Editor

December 14, 2012

Searching through Santa’s bag of goodies

Friday, December 14, 2012 — RALEIGH – The weather outside is hardly frightful, and there is no need for a fire that is delightful, but it is that time of year again.

Yes, it is time to check over who, among the political honchos of North Carolina, has been naughty and who has been nice and devise a little list of Christmas goodies.

So, without further ado, here are my gift-giving suggestions for the season.

For Gov. Beverly Perdue, as she prepares to leave office, an all-expense paid tour of the great parks of America – Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, the Great Smoky Mountains and that newest one atop a high hill in Raleigh. Word has it that the Raleigh park will be a great place to look down upon the North Carolina General Assembly.

For Gov.-elect Pat McCrory, a new house. Oh, that’s right, he kind of gets one of those with the new job. OK … a new car. Oh yeah, he’ll get one of those too, probably a dark-colored SUV driven by Highway Patrol troopers. Hmmm. What to get the person who has everything? Of course, a gift card. Let’s just make sure that it doesn’t involve a retailer who sells out of a spacious warehouse or that specializes in casual field jackets.      

For outgoing Lt. Gov. Walter Dalton, the latest toy from the makers of Silly Putty, “Sticky Mud.” This product, amazingly enough, sticks to whatever it is thrown at, even Teflon-coated political opponents who portray themselves as post-partisan, practical problem-solvers from economically vibrant Southern cities. The container for “Sticky Mud” includes a secret compartment filled with enough campaign cash to make up for even the biggest disparities in fundraising.

For House Speaker Thom Tillis, who is believed to have aspirations of taking on U.S. Sen. Kay Hagan in 2014, a copy of the recently unearthed and previously unknown memoir from the late Jesse Helms, “Beating Jim Hunt, Befriending Bono and Other Tales of the Politically Astounding.” Tillis will want to pay particular attention to the chapter entitled, “Where’s My Chief of Staff?” He can probably safely ignore the chapter, “Just Say No and No and No and No.”      

For Senate leader Phil Berger, the latest life-like robot made by Mattel, “Whipping Boy.” A special custom model, designed to look and sound like Gov. Beverly Perdue, will provide hours of fun for Berger as he rails against her every word and move, months after the real Perdue is far removed from Raleigh. Berger will particularly enjoy the  programmed responses each time a question is posed to the Whipping Boy. They include, “Because I’m governor,” and “Where’s My Red Veto Stamp?”

Finally, for North Carolina voters, a year or more of relative peace from campaign commercials and cable TV pundits trying to turn every election into the most important election ever and every candidate into a saint or villain.

 

1
Text Only
Opinion & Letters to the Editor
  • Brent Laurenz Special election adds to the mix

    RALEIGH – A busy slate of judicial elections this November got even busier recently when Judge John Martin of the N.C. Court of Appeals announced his retirement.
    A special statewide election to fill Martin’s seat will be added to the general election ballot, joining the four N.C. Supreme Court seats and three N.C. Court of Appeals races already slated for this fall.

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • Patrick Gannon Fake news or sign of some more trouble?

    RALEIGH – Of the three situations I can recall where agencies receiving large sums of taxpayer dollars wouldn’t divulge employees’ salaries, two of them ended badly. The third – involving a group of charter schools in Southeastern North Carolina – is playing out right now.

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • Almost half of America's obese youth don't know they're obese

    WASHINGTON - The good news is that after decades of furious growth, obesity rates finally seem to be leveling off in the U.S.. The bad news is that America's youth still appear to be dangerously unaware of the problem.

    July 23, 2014

  • Darth Vader is polling higher than all potential 2016 presidential candidates

    On the other hand, with a net favorability of -8, Jar Jar is considerably more popular than the U.S. Congress, which currently enjoys a net favorability rating of -65.

    July 23, 2014

  • D.G. Martin Where did all these new voters in North Carolina come from?

    “Voters born elsewhere make up nearly half of N.C. electorate.”
    So begins the latest DataNet report from the UNC Program on Public Life, directed by former journalist Ferrel Guillory.

    July 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • Patrick Gannon Some light for Dems in their time of darkness

    RALEIGH – Earlier this year, state Sen. Ben Clark, a Hoke County Democrat, became a hero for a day among his party and environmentalists when his amendment to require more well water testing near future fracking sites passed the Senate. It even gained the support of a number of GOP senators, against the wishes of the Republican bill sponsor.

    July 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • mama.jpg What we get wrong about millennials living at home

    If the media is to be believed, America is facing a major crisis. "Kids," some age 25, 26, or even 30 years old, are living out of their childhood bedrooms and basements at alarmingly high numbers. The hand-wringing overlooks one problem: It's all overblown.

    July 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Doug Creamer Maintaining hope

    Gardeners are facing challenges with the weather this year. It seemed like we were getting great conditions in April and May. The weather was warm and we were getting some good rains. Then sometime in June the rain stopped. It got so dry that I didn’t have to cut the grass. While I enjoyed the break, the garden was not happy at all. I was having to water quite a bit to keep the vegetable garden alive and growing.

    July 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Jason O. Boyd I may be a bit behind the times, but at least I can find ‘America’

    I seem to be reading about and dealing with technology a lot lately.
    I  love technology and have always been fascinated by gadgets of all kinds and the wonderful things they can do. You never seem to go through an entire day without some form of invention enhancing your life.

    July 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • Brent Laurenz Meeting out in open helps negotiations move ahead

    RALEIGH – State lawmakers reconvened in Raleigh on May 14 promising a brief legislative session this summer, but as July moves along they are still in town and tackling big issues.

    July 21, 2014 1 Photo

House Ads
Seasonal Content