The Stanly News and Press (Albemarle, NC)

March 4, 2013

Enough to make Dr. Seuss sick

By Brian Graves, Staff Writer

Monday, March 4, 2013 — I am sick and tired of being sick.

My assumption is that most of those reading this are as well.

All the clarion calls have been the warnings about the flu, but it seems to me most everyone has suffered from every malady except the flu.

It sort of makes me think of a Dr. Seuss rhyme (written with apologies to the good Doctor):

It started with sneezes,

Then led up to wheezes,

The chest was a thumping,

Oh, gosh I think it’s coming.

Blowing the nose,

Then holding the cough,

Oh, how I wish there were

A way to shake it off.

This misery that comes

With the chills and the shakes,

I’m so tired of cold one moment

Than feeling full baked.

The sweat on my brow

Could fill up a sea

And the boat I’m now on

It’s like Titanic for me!

Then the blue pill, the pink pill,

The long and the round.

One twice a day,

The others when found.

My cabinet is strewn with empty bottles a plenty.

The labels had said

two teaspoon fulls

and you’re ready!

Ready for what?

I must declare.

Ready for hunger and no way to breathe air.

I feel like I sound.

I look like I feel.

My eyelids are sore

from trying to see.

Will this not go away?

Go away today?

Kill these bugs off!

I must find a way!

Ah, sleep!

It can’t survive that.

Hot cocoa and soup

will give it a zap.

All is now quiet

as the z’s fill my thoughts.

The germs have all gone.

The one’s I have fought.

Finally gone, you blight!

Now leave me alone.

But oops, from your red nose

I see they have found a new home.

Sharing is good

they taught me in school.

But sharing these germs

just isn’t real cool.

My forgiveness is begged

I’m sorry you’re sick.

I don’t have the answers

to getting well quick.

This too shall pass.

I’m quite sure of this.

‘Cause another bug’s coming

I sure hope we miss.