The Stanly News and Press (Albemarle, NC)

Opinion & Letters to the Editor

September 12, 2013

Left-handed people: The right way to be

Thursday, September 12, 2013 — I’ve got a confession to make. It’s not something everyone knows about and it’s not something I typically toot my own horn a lot about either. But it’s who I am and will always be, and I’m afraid there’s no changing it no matter what people say or try to do.

Yes, it’s true. I’m a lefty, living in a righty world.

By lefty, I mean I’m left-handed. You weren’t thinking politics, were you? If you know me, you’ll quickly realize that’s the farthest thing from the truth. Not all members of the “left-leaning” media are actually, well, lefties.

Being left-handed truly puts me in the minority with the rest of the people on this planet. It’s estimated that only 10 percent of the world’s nearly 7.2 billion people are left-handed. And of those, only 12 percent of men are left-handed.

If two left-handed people have a child, there’s only a 26 percent chance that child will be left-handed. And society in general is doing its best to make the world of lefties all the more difficult with scissors, desks and kitchen utensils made more for right-handed people.

I could say it’s why I don’t cook anymore, but the truth is my wife is much better at it than I am.

But being left-handed does have its advantages.

In the book “Right-Hand, Left-Hand,” author Chris McManus argues that the proportion of left-handers is increasing, and left-handed people have historically been above-average quota of high achievers. Left-handers are said to be faster at processing multiple stimuli than righties. Left-handers are also thought of as superior when it comes to survival of the fittest and are tops in man-on-man combat.

Pffft. Tell me something I don’t already know. Hello, Rocky Balboa … left-handed.

When I was learning to write, my mom didn’t try to convert me to the dominant side of right-handed people. Miley Cyrus, on the other hand, had her father switch her from being a lefty to a righty. In her book "Miles To Go" she wrote her father taught her to use her right hand because he said left-handers have to learn the whole world backwards.

Here-in lies her problem … or at least part of it.

My mom did her part to make sure when I wrote left-handed, I wouldn’t end up looking like I was trying to swallow the entire paper with my arm. People have often complimented me on my handwriting … even though I’m left-handed. I could take that as a back-handed remark, but hey, it’s a compliment. You take ‘em when you can get ‘em.

I don’t place my hand at the top of the paper like most lefties do when they write. When I see someone do that, I feel it brings great shame upon the House of the Left. I want to go up to them, smack them in the back of the head and say “Didn’t your mamma teach you better?”

Like so many lefties in this world, we’ve learned to adapt to the righty world. Still, we lefties have to stick together. There’s not many of us out there and the fight to stay relevant is getting harder and harder.

So when it comes to sports, pull for Rafael Nadal, a lefty, over any other tennis player. Phil Mickelson is the greatest golfer the world has ever seen. Tiger who? Please!

Of the top 20 batters in Major League Baseball history based on statistical data, 16 of them were left-handed. Four of the past six presidents were left-handed, including President Obama. Late-night talk show is dominated by lefties with Jay Leno and David Letterman. Bruce Willis and Oprah Winfrey are left-handed. So is Bart Simpson, even if he only has four fingers.

Then again, other lefties include Richard Simmons and Jack the Ripper.

I guess everybody’s got their black sheep.

I missed out on International Left-handers Day a few weeks back. I should remember the date, Aug. 13, because it’s two days after one of my nephews’ birthdays and a day after one of my sisters. But I am forgetful, so I could blame it on that.

Then again, because I didn’t hear it promoted by the left-leading media, it was probably a conspiracy to keep us lefties down.

To submit story ideas, contact Jason O. Boyd at (704) 982-2121 ext. 21 or email at jason@stanlynewspress.com.

1
Text Only
Opinion & Letters to the Editor
  • D.G. Martin Where did all these new voters in North Carolina come from?

    “Voters born elsewhere make up nearly half of N.C. electorate.”
    So begins the latest DataNet report from the UNC Program on Public Life, directed by former journalist Ferrel Guillory.

    July 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • Patrick Gannon Some light for Dems in their time of darkness

    RALEIGH – Earlier this year, state Sen. Ben Clark, a Hoke County Democrat, became a hero for a day among his party and environmentalists when his amendment to require more well water testing near future fracking sites passed the Senate. It even gained the support of a number of GOP senators, against the wishes of the Republican bill sponsor.

    July 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • mama.jpg What we get wrong about millennials living at home

    If the media is to be believed, America is facing a major crisis. "Kids," some age 25, 26, or even 30 years old, are living out of their childhood bedrooms and basements at alarmingly high numbers. The hand-wringing overlooks one problem: It's all overblown.

    July 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Doug Creamer Maintaining hope

    Gardeners are facing challenges with the weather this year. It seemed like we were getting great conditions in April and May. The weather was warm and we were getting some good rains. Then sometime in June the rain stopped. It got so dry that I didn’t have to cut the grass. While I enjoyed the break, the garden was not happy at all. I was having to water quite a bit to keep the vegetable garden alive and growing.

    July 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Jason O. Boyd I may be a bit behind the times, but at least I can find ‘America’

    I seem to be reading about and dealing with technology a lot lately.
    I  love technology and have always been fascinated by gadgets of all kinds and the wonderful things they can do. You never seem to go through an entire day without some form of invention enhancing your life.

    July 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • Brent Laurenz Meeting out in open helps negotiations move ahead

    RALEIGH – State lawmakers reconvened in Raleigh on May 14 promising a brief legislative session this summer, but as July moves along they are still in town and tackling big issues.

    July 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • Larry's Sketch 7.16.14.tif They don’t give a darn for Duke University

    John “Duke” Wayne’s heirs are suing Duke University over trademark rights.

    July 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • Your chocolate addiction is only going to get more expensive

    WASHINGTON - For nearly two years, cocoa prices have been on the rise. Finally, that's affecting the price you pay for a bar of chocolate - and there's reason to believe it's only the beginning.

    July 18, 2014

  • Patrick Gannon Don’t forget the losers in state lottery

    RALEIGH – Behind every state lottery dollar that goes to education is a loser.
    There’s also a winner – the teacher whose salary it pays, the student who gets a scholarship or the district where a new school gets built. But we hear about the winners in advertisements and in press releases.
    This column is about the losers.

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Hodgepodge Cooling an overheated hedgehog and other summer travel stories

    Anybody with a pet during the summer inevitably finds themselves facing this question: What do I do with my pet on vacation?
    There are kennels for dogs, day cares for cats. Shoot, you can even find a friend to take care of your guinea pig.
    But what do you do with a hedgehog?

    July 18, 2014 2 Photos

House Ads
Seasonal Content